I wrote this along time ago... i just want to get posting on here so...
Untitled.
Shh-shh-shh
The rain was falling in sheets.
Shh-shh-shh
All the other pedestrians on this gray sidewalk carried umbrellas or wore poncho’s, I had nothing.The rain fell upon my bare head, it plopped on my nose, dribbled across my lips and cascaded down my shoulders
Drip-drop-drip-drop
Steady, constant, the rhythm of the rain, its calmness, helped me not to think about the storm in my heart, in my mind.
Drip-drop-drip-drop
My heart was racing in my chest like a jack-hammer, but it kept me going, my fear moved me forward.
I arrived at the predetermined corner and waited.I looked at the people on the street.Almost all business men in plain suits with plain jobs and plain lives.All of them had a phone glued to their ear or a PDA implanted in their faces, it had become a part of them, their machines had become their nature
An old looking black sedan raced down the street about a block away from me.Rain gliding across its smooth exterior.I expected to be splashed by it as it hurried past me, but instead I was splashed as it came to a sudden halt at my feet.
I live in a world of lose-lose situations.
The man who exited the car from the back seat wore a plain black suit like the people on the street and a plain black tie.He looked at me, his eyes smiled an still bore a youth in them quite in contrast to his settled boring adult persona.
When he first saw me he seemed surprised that I was standing there.He looked at me, my ratty old shoes, torn jaded jeans, my vaguely brownish-greenish-somethingish hoodie.I think he had expected that I would dress up for something this important. As if I thought, I’ve never been dressed up for anything in my life, like I’d dress up for, of all people, my father.
My mother is dead.
She died last week of pneumonia though she had been dying of something for the better part of the past 10 years, right after my father ran away.Not that he really ran away, he just went to work at the base one day and never came home.Mother knew what he had done. She had suspected him of having an affair for a long time, but she just hoped that he would always come home at then end of the day.When he didn’t she just couldn’t deal and her body reacted to her mental state.She was bed-ridden from that very day.She hardly spoke or anything.So, I raised myself.I lived in the house because I had nowhere else to go, I tried to take care of my mother as best I could and lived my life pretty much alone.
Until she died.
Now I’m faced with the choice between my father and foster care and the latter was my choice, but the incomparable State chose that I should go live with my father.
The man in the plain black suit stepped closer to me.
“Are you Michael?” he asked.
“Yeah” I said, “And you are?”
“Oh” he gasped, “My name isn’t important, I’m just here to make sure you get to Base 4 safely.”
“Your name isn’t important?” I asked, “Well fine, I’ll call you Mr.Guide.”That got a little chuckle out of him. Good, he is human.
I followed him into the car.It was the same as the exterior, slick, black, generic. The man and his suit were almost camouflaged in the seat.Instantly when we sat, he pulled out his cell phone and rapidly began pressing buttons.
“Yes, Mr. Carlson, I have your son right here, we’re on our way now.. mmhmm.. ok, sure thing boss”He grinned falsely when he received his orders from my father, “We’re going to meet your father in Tower 2, he’ll probably be in a meeting but he said he’ll sneak out to get you settled in your apartment.”
My apartment, emphasis on the apart.
When my father left, he didn’t just go to be alone, no when he left he went and started up a whole new life.He married a new woman, Margie, and had two new sons, Marshall and Mitchell.I guess he thought it would be cute to have everyone’s name start with the same letter.
The only problem was that with me coming in, my father said that there wouldn’t be enough room in his prefabricated government issue home for me and that until he was able to save up the money to purchase a larger home I would have to stay in an apartment nearby.He said that I should come over every night for dinner and spend as much time over there as I wanted.He told me to think of my apartment as a bed away from home.
I knew he was lying.
But honestly I didn’t care.I didn’t want it anyway.I didn’t want to eat food prepared by this woman who isn't my mother, or to spend time with the two boys who aren’t my brothers.I didn’t want any of it.
Drip-drip-drop-drip-drip-drop
Focus on the rain.Stay calm, even keel
Drip-drop-drip-drop
We arrived at the gate to the base.The huge monster.Barbed wires climbing up its grilled front, lashing out the giant doors with teeth gnashing together ready to chomp on anything that gets to close.And beyond, a brown paradise.Brown stores on brown streets, brown homes with brown lawns, brown cubes they called apartments.The only falter in the consistent brown was the two huge glass towers in the middle of the whole 20x20 mile base.These two huge beacons of glimmering glass shot straight through the clouds.I don’t even think anyone had ever actually counted the floors since the building keeps getting taller, they just guess on a nice round number every few years.
The towers are a city unto themselves.The corporate sponsorship required to build such a thing is enormous.You can see the aftermath of it in the buildings themselves.The first fifty floors or so in both are malls, and continuing up for another 20 floors or so is pure advertisement.Every company in the world it seems has pasted some sort of billboard or sign or something on one of those buildings
My father was about 300 floors up on Tower 2.After the hour long drive and the 30 minutes of security checks and the 20 minutes of driving through the city I now had to wait in an elevator for 10 more minutes while it hauled Mr. Guide and I up to my fathers office.
Mr. Guide didn’t speak.
Along with his name not being important, I suppose his words weren’t important either.
Shoom-shoom-shoom
We raced up the elevator shaft.
Shoom-shoom
shoom-shoom- tsaahh...
We came to a sudden halt.My stomach turned and I lost my balance for a second.This was my fathers morning commute.
Mr. Guide and I exited on the floor that was labeled “300’s Generals Conference Room 34”
Mr. Guide hurried down the hall looking at his watch.I was following closely behind.I noticed that I was still damp from standing out in the rain for so long and all the people we passed in the hall were staring at me.I was unexpected.The appraised me much in t he same waythat Mr. Guide had when he first picked me up.At the end of that hall was a large glass door and through it was a bustling office full of people running about with stacks of papers and books and coffee and pens and all that other stuff that you find in an office.There was a womans voice on the intercom every few seconds saying “Mr. Tanaka, you are needed on 600’s Accounting Room 17” and then you would see a disgruntled looking Japanese man rise from his desk, gather a bunch of random papers, take one last gulp of his coffee, and run past you into the throng of people.
I followed Mr. Guide through this seething mass to the back where the was another set of double doors, this time made of fake plastic wood.We crossed into this new room and there was silence.There was no one there except for a bored looking receptionist smacking on a piece of gum that I’m sure has been her favorite for that past few minutes.We walk over to her and Mr. Guide clears his throat.The girl puts down her magazine and looks at him side ways
“What” she says nonplussed
“I have Mr. Carlson’s son here, could you tell him that we’ve arrived please.”
“He’s in a meeting back there with the General.”She gestured to yet another set of double doors behind her.These had little portholes so you could peek in.
“Look, he’s expecting us, can you just tell him that we’re here.”
“Tch, fine.”She lowered her mouth to the little microphone on her desk, fabricated a smile and said, “Mr. Carlson, your son is waiting for you just outside the door” It was her who had been making the announcements that I heard outside.
“Thank you” said Mr. Guide sarcastically.The receptionist just sneered back at him and continued smacking her gum and reading up on the latest celebrity trends.
After a few seconds a rather frazzled young man stepped out from the big doors to the office and gestured for us to quietly come in.
When we stepped through the door there was yet more chaos.All the people at the large central table were yelling at each other about some energy problem or work distribution, and there were about 30 scribes taking notes on the whole thing.
I scanned the room.All the men in the room wore plain brown business suits, jet white lab coats or military garb.
I saw my father across the room, yelling just as loud as the rest of them.Somehow I had hoped that he would at least notice me, not that I really cared, but it would have been nice to have been noticed.
I sat in the corner next to Mr. Guide.He was still looking at his watch and tapping his foot.I wondered if he had another kid to pick up somewhere and he’s running late.
I looked over to the scribes.They too were frantic and had panicked looks on their faces.I noticed one of them however was just as calm and unexcited by the whole scene as I was.He looked to be about my age, no older than 20 maybe.He had soulful brown eyes and brown hair that fell in his eyes, like mine.I stared at him for a good long while, he was like a focal point, keeping me from getting dizzy in this circus.Then he looked back over at me.I hardly noticed, until he smiled.
Dazzling.
I smiled back embarrassed and looked at my feet.They were an ok focal point too.
But I felt him.He was still staring at me. My face was warm, on fire.I bit my lip and chanced another look across the room.Sure enough, he was still looking over at me.
Slow motion...
He blinked and bit his lip
This is so dumb
He looked away for a second, then looked back.
Drip-drip-drop-drip-drip-drop
Keep calm, even keel...
“Ahem!” the General coughed from across the room, “That’s enough for today, we’ll have to finish this discussion tomorrow.”
Whew

